My Lunch With Doug.
posted 12/07/08
It's been a flurry of window installation this week. We're close to the end now but it was going pretty slowly when we started because the first window is the "learnin' winda". It took about about three hours to go from start to finish on this the First Window. (The second one did go a little faster.) Now realize that Doug lives about 50 minutes from here so if we start before 8:00am, he's already been up and dropped a child at daycare and has fought the early part of rush hour just to get here. Which means he's ready for lunch at 11 am.
So, after the first window was completed Doug said: "Let's go get lunch."
"But we're only one window in! Let's use this momentum and get the next one done and then go to lunch!" I pleaded.
The "lunch at eleven" logic was then explained to me. He then promised a demonstration of the "lunch at eleven" theorem.
We went to lunch.
Now I will explain to you where CGG and I reside by revealing our restaurants.
Within Walking Distance: (in no particular order)
Turtle Bread Co., Adrian's, Michael's, (formerly the Chicago Ave. Deli) Pumphouse Creamery, Sushi Bagu, Pizza Biga, Pepitos, Uncommon Grounds, Levain, Star Moon, Ken and Norm's Liquors and a Pizza Hut.
Within A Short Drive: (in no particular order)
All Fast Food, (from Arby's to White Castle), Sea Salt (seasonal), Buster's on 28TH, Huey's Chow Mein, First Course, Fat Lorenzo's, The 5-8 Club, Matt's Bar, Jakeeno's, Midtown Global Market, Citizen Cafe, Colossal Cafe, Chatterbox Pub, Victor's 1959 Cafe, Grand Cafe, Corner Table, Anodyne, most of Eat Street, Gigi's Cafe, Rustica Bakery, Hot Plate, El Meson, and even downtown.
(And you can bet this list is incomplete. I'm simply working off of memory here!)
As you can tell, we have a "Target Rich Environment" in our little corner of the world.
Given the variety of possible lunch locations I left the decision up to Doug. He suggested a "Juicy Lucy" at The 5-8 Club. I thought it was a brilliant idea so I countered with a "Jucy Lucy" at Matt's Bar because I had never been there. Doug thought that too was a brilliant idea so we were off to Matt's Bar and seated at the bar in less than ten minutes.
I commented to the bartender that I'd never been in for a Jucy Lucy though I was familiar with the controversy. He countered with the fact that they had been making it for the last 45 years and he thought it was about time I had made it in for one.
I'll be as brief as possible here for those of you that don't know "The Story".
(In a nutshell)
The Burger: Your choice of cheese, (American being the classic) stuffed inside the burger prior to cooking.
The Players:
Matt's Bar "Home of the Jucy Lucy" (3500 Cedar Ave.)
The 5-8 Club "Home of the Juicy Lucy" (5800 Cedar Ave.)
Both have awards for their efforts in cheese-infused-burger technology, both have been around for almost forever.
And both claim to be the Original.
And both are close by!
There is however a Third Player.
They do not claim to have the Original.
They have not been around for almost forever.
They are not close by.
Always order a side of fries with a cheese-infused burger. No matter where you are. If you find a place in... Granite Falls... that serves a similar cheese-infused burger you'll want the side of fries. Or onion rings. You need to have something to eat while you look at your burger expectantly knowing that to bite into it now would be not only disastrous but quite painful as well.
I encourage patience and Belgian style french fries.
I had the fries and the patience. Too bad that I simply forgot what I was biting into. In retrospect, I think I saw a small edge of raw onion and wanted to make sure I got that little bit of extra onion in this bite and simply forgot that I was also biting into a burger filled with lava.
A surprisingly large glob squirted onto my left hand. Just beyond where the thumb and forefinger meet, sorta' beyond and below my first knuckle on the back of my hand. I figure it was more than four inches from the edge of the burger to this particular spot on my hand.
Have you seen the scene in Fight Club when Mr. Pitt shakes the acid onto the back of Mr. Norton's hand?
It was nothing like that.
My patience had been rewarded and the lava was really more like hot gravy and I quickly swooped down and slurped it off. And waited for inevitable burning sensation to follow. And waited.
-In the instant this had occurred I noticed the cheese had a slightly pinkish hue and I thought "Hmm, wonder why it's pink? Is there some type of tomato product in there? A bit of ketchup? Maybe it's a salsa like thing... Maybe it's beefy juice mingling with melty cheese. I wonder where the pink comes from?
Why is my left hand hot?
And wet?"
The good news is that I was perfectly safe and free from harm. The bad news was that my burger now lacked a good portion of its original cheese-infused goodness. We both suffered that loss. The burger had lost some of its glory and charm and jucy-ness. Sure, there was still some in there but it wasn't going to be what it was supposed to be. I finished it and it was certainly tasty but I think I'm going to have to have another before making any type of ruling on which is better.
And I'll be completely ignoring the "Originality" issue.
I was ready for my next Jucy Lucy when we left Matt's Bar.
Doug pointed out the line of people waiting to get in.
It was 11:40 am.
He had indeed demonstrated the "Lunch At Eleven Theorem"
Of course we went to the 5-8 Club the next day...
CG